No longer

Please peruse the archives. This blog was fun while it lasted.

I try to keep http://www.thechaserblog.com up to date, but get lazy. Sue me.

Happy Holidays!

Hope everyone has a great and wonderful holiday season. My ass is going to be traveling and running after this little scrappy fucker, so your prayers are welcome.

Whether it is 8 crazy nights of spinning tops and hating Jesus, a week of black pride, celebrating someone's birthday 4 months too early, or you just love free shit, have a great one!

Now give me presents damnit!

Oprah should run...

[she totally outshines his ass every time]

So Oprah and Obama have been running the circuit lately, but honestly, every time they go anywhere together she outdoes him 10 fold.

Oprah, when are YOU going to run? Cause that's the day the parties would actually combine, all those Republican housewives would beat anyone's ass who denounced the O.

Hairdresser foils bank robbery

[she gonna fight her some crime after a few highlights and a trim]

A hairdresser in Berlin found secret bank plans and security measures in a trashcan and got suspicious so turned them in.

I wanna know what honey was doin dumpster diving? Blow and go in dark smelly places?

Attack of the Blogs

There is some funny shit out there.

Take this, Overheard From New York:

Hell Is Other People with No Style

Jesus-freak: ... And let it be known that if you disobey the holy book and God's laws, you are eternally damned.
Queer: So, what happens to me if I'm gay?
Jesus-freak: You're going to Hell in a hand basket!
Queer: Well, that hand basket better be fucking Prada, bitch!

--42nd St station

Overheard by: you go, girl

---

Or this, Passive Aggressive Notes:

And

Icanhascheezburger:

Melinda finally cuts the act

American Idol totally sucked ass last night, but the best part was Melinda's face while Jordin was performing.

She looks like someone took a dump on her birthday cake.

If I was Jordin I'd be careful, now that she lost when everyone thought she was gonna win it, I wouldn't be surprised if she started feeding on babies and ripping the heads off people who have necks.

Mary Jane Slutson?

So this Mary Jane statue (that's Spider Man's WIFE, not girlfriend major media peoples!) washing Spidey's costume while exposing her thong and boobalas, has gotten a lot of grief from the fan girl community.

My opinion? I don't think it should've evoked the hype it has, I mean sure it is a bit tacky, but being an avid Spider Man reader for years and years, I could actually see Mary Jane doing something like is, if not just to tease her husband and ridicule him for it enjoying said tease.

But yeah, chill the fuck out ladies, invoking MLK's name and the women's rights movement over a small statue just makes you sound like a bunch of screeching harpy bitches.

Sure there needs to be a less sexist outlook in the comic book industry, but there also needs to be a less racist and homophobic outlook.

Where were you "champions of justice" when Joe Quesada said only MAX titles will star gay characters or the fact that North Star was killed in almost every reality in the MU in the same fucking month? How about the fact that asian characters are almost always kung fu experts?

Sure I think there needs to be equality in comics and media, and women shouldn't be seen as pure sex objects, but keep it up and instead of sex objects, they'll be seen as PMSing crazy ladies who need to get the sand out of their vagina.

Look, we just don't like you...

Attorney General Gonzales is not feelin' the love on Capitol Hill right now, even the Republicans are telling his ass to go.

Seriously dude, the more you lie your way outta stuff, the more dirt they have on you.

My advice would be to get out of town, ASAP. Kenneth Lay knew too much and he magically had a "heart attack" like a day after he was convicted. They have ways, you know.

Don't get too deep or your ass is going to magically fall off a cliff and be eaten by lions in a freak zoo "accident"... or something.

[Ju Cunt Hundle Ja Truth, Ok?]

Outsourcing to India not only problem with Dell

[he's waiting for you to start eating dinner]

Dell is being sued by the state of New York for bad business practices. The leading computer manufacturers are bullying customers and screwing their finances up, as well as not holding to promises of quick service and disconnecting their calls when attempting to get support.

Man this is some shady shit. I hate it when you call customer service and you get some person you can't understand, then they "transfer" you which means they hang up on you or send you to collections when you don't owe any money.

Customer Service really means, "fuck you, don't call us."

I can see Mohindabubu right now

"You have to pay us,"

"No I don't, I don't owe you anything, I didn't even order a computer!"

"Yes! Give us money! You order computer!"

"No I didn't!"

"Durka, abu jihad mammadu!" Click.

Real mature Dell.

High Schools, Colleges, Post Offices... Nursery Schools?

A baby in Illinois is licensed to carry a firearm. Apparently the little tykes father thought it needed a license to carry a weapon, so he registered his 10 month old, with its REAL birthday, and the state granted the license!!


Next thing you know, the Catholic Church suddenly admits bullet proof vests as part of the uniform.

Not to mention the upstage in urban armed robbery, damn moochers, they gotta put those crack babies to work!

Hell +1

[Jerry Falwell 1933 - 2007]

Jerry Falwell just kicked it.

He was found "unresponsive" this morning and was rushed to the hospital but died around noon.

This is what happens when you eat 10 cheeseburgers, a pound of fries, 2 babies and a nilla wafer for every meal.

The man hated happiness and children. And after spewing all his speeches about fire and brimstone and hell, he finally gets to see what it looks like.

That's what you get when you enjoy hating on everyone, and stealing money, and teaching ignorance, and whackin it to kiddie porn.

3 bed, 2 bath, fireplace, two car garage... dead body...

[im so embarrassed, the camera totally adds like 10 pounds!]

So there is a rash of stories about dead bodies being found in homes after rotting alone from a couple months to years.

This woman in Wisconsin was found by the realtor a bit ago when showing the house, and just recently a body was found in a house that had been there for 6 years!

The bank repoed it and sold it in an auction, without actually checking the lay of the land, and the new owners were befuddled (awesome word choice) to find the previous owner mummified and dead as a doornail.

My question? What kind of wonky ass bank takes SIX YEARS to repo the house? Wells Fargo would've been on that shit like Lakondashaqua on a some pork rinds and koolickles.

His peen still works!

A 95% disabled man got drunk and mouth drove his motor bed the wrong way when attempting a trip to a brothel.

Just read that sentence a couple times. Yes. It's pretty obvious which percent of his body is still working, and I'm guessing it's not his big toe.

Do This or Die

Take my blog reader survey!

Bitches... you must do it... it beckons you... feel it calling your name... avoid the axe and take my damn survey!

A Blast From The Past

I was pointed to this interesting archived story from the New York Post.

MIDGET-CASE JURY HEARS SHORT STORY
New York Post

April 19, 2005 -- He should have picked on someone his own size.

The midget mother and daughter who were allegedly terrorized by their neighbor stood tall yesterday as they faced the grand jury to testify against him.

Neither 3-foot-8 Debra Shea nor her 3-foot-6 daughter, Concelean Pegues, would comment on their testimony as they left Brooklyn Supreme Court, saying prosecutors asked them not to talk while the case is still pending.

The two were testifying against their longtime neighbor, Joseph Izzo, who was busted last week for spray-painting a yellow line leading up to their house and telling them to "follow the yellow brick road."

Izzo, 40, who is facing hate-crime charges, is also accused of hurling racial slurs at Pegues and cruelly singing, "Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to work we go."

Izzo was not in court yesterday, and his lawyer, his brother Richard, declined to comment.

A man who said he was Izzo's friend said that over the past few weeks, Izzo and Shea would get into drunken fights and the two would often call the authorities on each other.

I love the fact that the author of the article used as many puns as possible, not to mention the word "midget" which is supposed to piss the wee ones off.

A+ New York Post.

thanks Nick I.