May 7, 2007

The Reason I Hate Going To The Beach

What is the reason I hate going to the beach? Sand.

It gets in your shoes... your car... your mouth... your asshole. Seriously anything that causes the symptoms of an STD (itching, burning, never can quite get rid of it all) without the fun of sex is nothing to be desired.

Thus the reason Spiderman 3 just didn't quite make it over the very tall skyscraper of scrutiny it swings from.

The movie was good, I will give it that, but it just didn't give me the feeling that #2 did. And I really feel the reason was Sandman.

If the entire Sandman plot had been erased from the film, it would have been a lot easier to focus on, as well as shorter (and when you are a bit tipsy at 12AM a long movie's the last thing you want).

Honestly, it was like two different movies just kind of spliced together creating this mish mosh of plotlines going every which way like one of Venom's black webs (how come Peter's are sticky and Venom's are like tree branches??)

I also HATED the ending. Come on, give me some kind of happy ending/closure at a wedding or a proposal, not that craptastic jazz club I had fortunately forgotten by the time we got to the conclusion.

I did like the Harry/Peter team up. That was some nice stuff.

But after reading Sensational Spiderman Annual by Matt Fraction, I felt disappointed. The Gwen/Harry/Peter/Mary Jane dynamic was much more believable and heartwarming in the comic, and I would recommend anyone dabbling in the possibility of reading comics, to definitely check it out.


I just hope Jake Gyllenhaal takes up the mantle as Captain Marvel, cause if they continue to make films with a different cast I could definitely assume that it would smell worse than Alicia Silverstone's sweaty snatch in Batman & Robin (think about it: fat girl in leather).

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