T.V. Time

Oh it's that time again! Another week of television has passed, and faithful t.v. consumer, Ry, is here to document the ups and downs.

America's Next Top Model
Rene is nice again for some unknown reason. The models stopped acting like Bitches, and they are starting to get along. Doesn't Tyra know this makes for BORING television? The photo shoot had former contestants on Top Model pose with the current group of girls. I got to see my homegirl, Joanie, whom I love and adore, from Season 5. (White girl can rap and crunk) Otherwise this was another yawn. I'm waiting for the claws girls! Whitney was voted off. No surprise. Did anyone think the fatty was going to make it?

American Idol
Haley was voted off. Her boobs did not outwit Phil. He must have his Navy buddies dickmatized. That or his alien spaceship (he has alien eyes). And for all of you who think Sanjaya was good this week, you're insane. Stop drinking the kool-aid. You are going to get sucked up into Phil's spaceship!

Was it just me or did J.Lo look completely yellow on Tuesday's show? She looked more hep-laden than Pamela Anderson (soon to be Lee again if they keep it up). Even though she may be ailing, she's hotness. She actually sounds better in Spanish. But what the hell was up with Akon on the show? Now it's random musical guest Idol? WTF? Oh and we ALMOST got a glimpse of drunk Paula. That would make my month!

Lost
I don't know even what to say anymore. Edge of my seat every episode. Even though this episode was full of uncomfortable staring. Apparently that is the new weapon of choice on the island, Juliet's blank stare (she's really eating your brain). I enjoyed Sawyer's reaction to Juliet coming there, and even more so how tightly he hugged Kate. Those two are meant for some more horizontal tango.

Claire gets mysteriously ill and coughs up blood. Magically, Juliet has the antidote in the jungle! Sawyer and Sayid follow her as they know she's badness (which they are usually right, see Henry Gale). She talks them down by rehashing their sins. Sawyer, come on! You can handle her manipulations, don't get mesmerized by her blank stare! And we find out in the end, after an entire episode of the producers trying to get us to like Juliet that she's really infiltrated their camp to do something shady. Of course, what else would you expect from Shady Island?

Grey's Anatomy and Ugly Betty
Reruns last week and clip shows tonight. LAME x2. They need to take a cue from 24 and Lost, air uninterrupted segments of shows.

Desperate Housewives
I loved it! Gabrielle stole dresses from her rich soon-to-be husband's ex-wife's closet! Then the ex-wife caught her wearing it. They should give Gabrielle her own fabulous hour of fun. I also was impressed with Susan's machinations against Ian's pre-nup by blackmailing Ian's dad (she caught him wearing her underwear and night gown). Lynnette acted like a bitch again. I miss Bree. And Andrew needs to go back to badness that was.

Dresden Files
Finally this shit is getting interesting! The first couple episodes the supposed Wizard didn't do any magic. Now he's pumping it out in droves. It's kind of cheeze-its. Don't eat them too often or you get fat and salty. Watch sparingly.

Shows to Watch Out For
Painkiller Jane starts on Sci-Fi this Friday. It looks hot. It's about a chick who heals really fast, so basically she gets shot a lot and falls out of buildings.

Stargate Atlantis starts Friday on Sci-Fi as well. It's my favorite silly show that I don't usually tell people I watch. Sometimes it makes absolutely no sense. But it's often funny and Joe Francis is kind of naughty (Lt Sheppard).