TV Time

I missed last week because... well... I'm a lazy fucker. But it's back!

America's Next Top Model
BORING. This usual bitchfest ala mode was CryFest 2007. The girls had a challenge to mingle at a party with a bunch of celebrities. And by celebrities I mean Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton and 50 Cent. Otherwise known as any fucking club in Los Angeles. Nicole was up to her fun tricks, playing drama with the girls, going to Jael and telling her Renee hates her ass. This show needs more Nicole. Then Tyra held a chat session with the girls where Renee apologizes for all the mean things she has done. F-that! Be a bitch and own it Renee. Tell those other twats where to shove those tampons! Oh and boring ass Sarah went home. Good.

American Idol
Worst week ever! Well since we had to endure the top 24. It was all Tony Bennett-esque songs. Yawn. I want a hip-hop week! I'd love to see Blake singing Tupac. They mostly did so-so. Blake was strong, so was Chris and of course Malinda Doolittle. Sanjaya was even worst than normal, if that is at all possible. He's heinous, evil, and I would not cry is someone set him on fire. So instead of the evil cur going home, Gina got the axe! Poor Gina. You couldn't stand up to Haley's boobies!

Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, Ugly Betty
All reruns - which is LAME

Lost
The past two weeks have been amazing. This week especially. Kate and Juliet had a couple cat fights. Juliet is a tough bitch, but she couldn't handle the heat when Kate's in the kitchen! My personal favorite scene of the season is Kate beating the shit out of Juliet in the rain, then dislocating her shoulder. Oh and we got a Kate back story about her bitchy mom. Then we got some Sawyer lovin. Yay for Lost. You make me happy. And tingly. Kind of like anti-itch cream in a good way.

Planet Earth
If you haven't been checking this out, you're a LOSE. It's hotness. I love Earth, especially polar bears, elephants and cool underwater creatures. Now I know where Paris got her Vajayjay. It came from the deep! So deep no light penetrates the tentacles! Watch it on Discovery!

(I miss Heroes)