You could buy Puerto Rico for like five bucks!

Puerto Rico closed cause they are po. That's right, the government ran out of cash monies, so now the schools and government are completely closed.

What shocks me is that we haven't closed yet. I mean our government doesn't have any money either, but they keep spending. Will this happen to us?

Tons of people were protesting the close, but I don't see them shellin' out the dough to help the poor bitches. Some rich asshole should go in and buy the country. Then they could be a dictator and do whatever the fuck they wanted to.

I could like have mandatory concubines and public floggings. Like if some tool wore his collar turned up, you could make him the douche of the day and force him to face public ridicule for 24 hours. Like throwing tomatoes at his ass and shit. It would be sweet.