You Can Lowjack Your Bitches!

We've all been there, you call and call, and they still won't answer their phone! Why do you even have a phone? Your ass should answer it! Then you start wondering, where are they? Who are they screwing?

Good ole' Sprint-Nextel has the solution! They've created GPS locating service so "parents" can track their "children" through cell phones.

They even went on to claim it was for "monitoring" rather than "tracking". Bitches, please. I know what this is about. You want to be sure your wife and your whore don't run into each other on Madison Ave, since they both have your AmEx.

And for the rest of us, we can put out bitches on an even tighter leash. "When I say go to the store, we mean take your ass to the sto. I'm watching you..."