Today keeps its douche to handle her angry vagina

The Today show has signed Matt Lauer on til 2011. The only reason they're doin this shit is that they are scared Meredith Vieira's vagina is so angry that she'll venus fly trap some poor puppy on the show and they'll have to fire her ass, so for the time being they want to maintain stability.

I bet his ass is jealous that Cuntie gets all this fat cash and a great job as a nightly news anchor, and he's stuck covering Macy's parades and broadway shows with this bitch. But that's what you get for having ridiculous hair plugs.