Get a Tivo Bitch! (Spoilers)

Round 2 of the shit you've missed over the last week...

The OC - Theresa's baby isn't Ryan's! Thank god, I'd have to whack that skanky bitch! I can't take her greasy ass! Summer and Seth ran into Anna at Brown, so Summer thinks Seth wants to be with her. Summer is the best g/f ever, Seth is an idiot. Marissa couldn't get enough blue collar loving, so she went back to Volcheck after visiting Berkely. Kirsten started drinking again after realizing she married a big Tool.

Smallville - Lionel and Martha were kidnapped by a psycho and tested in a re-make of Saw-like challenges. Lionel is willing to kill himself to save Martha, but Clark saves the day. Lex realizes Lionel likes the Kents better than he likes him. Lana is a bitch and made out with Lex. (cunt bitch!)

DH and Grey's Anatomy were dumb "catch you up on the season episodes" - so lame.

Charmed - Piper blasted Christy, cause she's a bitch. Billy got upset and is working against the Charmed ones. Coop has fallen in love with Phoebe.

24 - Jack hunted down Chris Nelson's ass and tried to shoot a bitch. But then Audrey Rein's Dad, the Secretary of Defense had to kill himself to make sure C Nelson didn't have any hold over them. Jack jumped on a plane in order to get the recording of the President being a major Tool (and betraying the country). The President, meanwhile, told his wife about what he did, and she hates his ass. There is also another organization in play - and we don't know who they are. Karen Hughes of Homeland had a lightbulb over her head and found out the President is corrupt, so she helped Chloe escape from getting captured.

Scrubs - Genius as always. Though sad episode. 3 of Cox's patients died.

American Idol -
Katharine - Was amazing and exceptionally busty tonight. She sang Whitney Houston and the judges panned her. But I think it's obvious Paula is jealous of Katharine's ass. Paula is a washed up crack whore.

Elliot - Fug as always. Sang so-so.

Kellie - Fucked up her song AGAIN. This bitch is going home, and she knows it.

Paris - I'm not sure what to make of her. She's so odd. She has a good voice, but needs to find the right kind of song. She'll be in the bottom three.

Taylor - Sang all right, not as good as usual. Still one of my favorites. I like it when he sings the Bluesy songs. Give it some soul T!

Chris - did okay as a rock version of a love song. Still always sounds the same. I thought he did better last week.