April 17, 2006

America's Death Spiral

Okay, so we all know America is getting fatter and fatter. We see the chunks out there in the mall and at the movie theater with the arm rests up. Now that a majority of adults and one-third of children are chunky-asses, the world is changing to accomodate them. Including, wider needles to get through the rhino skin, size 32 women gowns, larger caskets and steel reinforced chairs.

Now people are making extra-large baby seats! Can you believe that shit?! If my TODDLER was so big, he couldn't fit in a baby seat, I'd take his ass to the kiddy plastic surgeon and order up some damn lipo. I'd also take away the little tyke's fried food. Please bitches! Get fat yourself if you want, go to your Fatty Resorts and learn to clean your fat folds, but don't make your kids fat! They'll have heart attacks at age 12! They'll be that fat bully on the playground! They'll be anti-social and only play with their "online friends". You see where I'm going. We don't need a society of Chunky Ass social rejects.

I'm just waiting for some thinner, healthier foreign country to come take us over. Once the government drafts all of us skinny bitches, America is done for!

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