Newslined

No longer

2008-03-26T14:45:00.004-05:00

Please peruse the archives. This blog was fun while it lasted.I try to keep http://www.thechaserblog.com up to date, but get lazy. Sue me.

Happy Holidays!

2007-12-11T13:25:00.000-06:00

Hope everyone has a great and wonderful holiday season. My ass is going to be traveling and running after this little scrappy fucker, so your prayers are welcome.Whether it is 8 crazy nights of spinning tops and hating Jesus, a week of black pride, celebrating someone's birthday 4 months too early, or you just love free shit, have a great one!Now give me presents damnit!

Oprah should run...

2007-12-10T16:56:00.000-06:00

[she totally outshines his ass every time]So Oprah and Obama have been running the circuit lately, but honestly, every time they go anywhere together she outdoes him 10 fold.Oprah, when are YOU going to run? Cause that's the day the parties would actually combine, all those Republican housewives would beat anyone's ass who denounced the O.

Hairdresser foils bank robbery

2007-12-06T11:33:00.000-06:00

[she gonna fight her some crime after a few highlights and a trim]A hairdresser in Berlin found secret bank plans and security measures in a trashcan and got suspicious so turned them in.I wanna know what honey was doin dumpster diving? Blow and go in dark smelly places?

Attack of the Blogs

2007-05-31T11:46:00.001-05:00

There is some funny shit out there.Take this, Overheard From New York: Hell Is Other People with No Style Jesus-freak: ... And let it be known that if you disobey the holy book and God's laws, you are eternally damned.Queer: So, what happens to me if I'm gay?Jesus-freak: You're going to Hell in a hand basket!Queer: Well, that hand basket better be

Melinda finally cuts the act

2007-05-23T11:06:00.000-05:00

American Idol totally sucked ass last night, but the best part was Melinda's face while Jordin was performing.She looks like someone took a dump on her birthday cake.If I was Jordin I'd be careful, now that she lost when everyone thought she was gonna win it, I wouldn't be surprised if she started feeding on babies and ripping the heads off people who have necks.

Mary Jane Slutson?

2007-05-17T17:27:00.000-05:00

So this Mary Jane statue (that's Spider Man's WIFE, not girlfriend major media peoples!) washing Spidey's costume while exposing her thong and boobalas, has gotten a lot of grief from the fan girl community.My opinion? I don't think it should've evoked the hype it has, I mean sure it is a bit tacky, but being an avid Spider Man reader for years and years, I could actually see Mary Jane doing

Look, we just don't like you...

2007-05-17T15:52:00.000-05:00

Attorney General Gonzales is not feelin' the love on Capitol Hill right now, even the Republicans are telling his ass to go.Seriously dude, the more you lie your way outta stuff, the more dirt they have on you.My advice would be to get out of town, ASAP. Kenneth Lay knew too much and he magically had a "heart attack" like a day after he was convicted. They have ways, you know.Don't get too deep

Outsourcing to India not only problem with Dell

2007-05-17T10:47:00.000-05:00

[he's waiting for you to start eating dinner]Dell is being sued by the state of New York for bad business practices. The leading computer manufacturers are bullying customers and screwing their finances up, as well as not holding to promises of quick service and disconnecting their calls when attempting to get support.Man this is some shady shit. I hate it when you call customer service and you

High Schools, Colleges, Post Offices... Nursery Schools?

2007-05-16T17:23:00.000-05:00

A baby in Illinois is licensed to carry a firearm. Apparently the little tykes father thought it needed a license to carry a weapon, so he registered his 10 month old, with its REAL birthday, and the state granted the license!!Next thing you know, the Catholic Church suddenly admits bullet proof vests as part of the uniform.Not to mention the upstage in urban armed robbery, damn moochers, they

Hell +1

2007-05-15T16:43:00.000-05:00

[Jerry Falwell 1933 - 2007]Jerry Falwell just kicked it.He was found "unresponsive" this morning and was rushed to the hospital but died around noon.This is what happens when you eat 10 cheeseburgers, a pound of fries, 2 babies and a nilla wafer for every meal.The man hated happiness and children. And after spewing all his speeches about fire and brimstone and hell, he finally gets to see what it

3 bed, 2 bath, fireplace, two car garage... dead body...

2007-05-15T16:27:00.000-05:00

[im so embarrassed, the camera totally adds like 10 pounds!]So there is a rash of stories about dead bodies being found in homes after rotting alone from a couple months to years.This woman in Wisconsin was found by the realtor a bit ago when showing the house, and just recently a body was found in a house that had been there for 6 years!The bank repoed it and sold it in an auction, without

His peen still works!

2007-05-15T10:21:00.000-05:00

A 95% disabled man got drunk and mouth drove his motor bed the wrong way when attempting a trip to a brothel.Just read that sentence a couple times. Yes. It's pretty obvious which percent of his body is still working, and I'm guessing it's not his big toe.

Do This or Die

2007-05-11T16:39:00.000-05:00

Take my blog reader survey!Bitches... you must do it... it beckons you... feel it calling your name... avoid the axe and take my damn survey!

A Blast From The Past

2007-05-11T11:15:00.000-05:00

I was pointed to this interesting archived story from the New York Post. MIDGET-CASE JURY HEARS SHORT STORY New York Post April 19, 2005 -- He should have picked on someone his own size. The midget mother and daughter who were allegedly terrorized by their neighbor stood tall yesterday as they faced the grand jury to testify against him. Neither 3-foot-8 Debra Shea nor her 3-foot-6

Douche Bags In Rush For White House

2007-05-11T10:16:00.000-05:00

[His "I hope you die in a car crash" smile]Rudolph Guiliani, John McCain, Mitt Romney, and whatever else whacked out Republican asshole that's running are slashin each others throats so fast my head is spinning.The one thing I don't understand is that John McCain was the "progressive" to GW's "conservative" yet now he's the one pandering to the right and calling Rudy out on shit like abortion

Gimps McGee Rides Again!

2007-05-09T15:08:00.000-05:00

So this dude with no arms and one leg is a habitual law breaker. He apparently is an amazing driver (yes an amazing driver with no limbs cept a weeny winky and a stubby leg) yet continues to say Fuck You to the establishment by breaking all kindsa traffic codes and laws.His license has been suspended and he is so bad that it is a felony for him to get behind the wheel.So a copper sees his ass and

Black Peoples Is Crazy!

2007-05-09T14:21:00.000-05:00

So this new "tastey" snack that has been getting much press is a pickle soaked in Kool-Aid.Just focus on that image for a second. Seriously. That is the nastiest shit I have ever heard in my life.First of all, people who eat giant ass pickles as snacks are retarded, secondly they annoy the hell out of me with that god awful aroma that pours off of those things in a movie theater. My Mom freaks

Must Love Dogs...

2007-05-09T10:29:00.000-05:00

As I showed yesterday, dogs are awesomeness incarnate. They are seriously the world's greatest creatures and if I had my way we would have more puppies and less douches and snot nosed little shit children running around.Here is a Rottweiler who has taken it upon herself to rear these two lamb babies because their mom was a bitch. How fucking cool is that? She kept them warm and licked them

And they called it puppy love...

2007-05-08T14:29:00.000-05:00

In Africa a flood hit this village and all the animals had to fend for themselves, so surprising to the villagers an awesome puppy doggy and a monkey, named Billy and Kiko, bonded and have been inseperable since.They make awesome friends. You know that monkey is thinking, "haha bitches I got my own horse to ride... and he'll bite your ass if you fuck with me..." while the dog thinks, "two words

The Reason I Hate Going To The Beach

2007-05-07T14:59:00.000-05:00

What is the reason I hate going to the beach? Sand.It gets in your shoes... your car... your mouth... your asshole. Seriously anything that causes the symptoms of an STD (itching, burning, never can quite get rid of it all) without the fun of sex is nothing to be desired.Thus the reason Spiderman 3 just didn't quite make it over the very tall skyscraper of scrutiny it swings from.The movie was

This ho is crazy

2007-04-30T14:52:00.000-05:00

Seriously this bitch is unbelievable. I bet she eats a mean beave with that giant mouth.

Cheney faces suicide birding...

2007-04-13T15:50:00.000-05:00

A bird struck Air Force 2, and Dick wasn't even informed until after his speaking engagement. The birds are already planning more attacks including a swarm of kawing and screeching by thousands of black birds outside the White House, as well as a few fly by poopings during Rose Garden Press Conferences.Cheney and his muff lovin daughter also made a stop for one of the grandkids. I like how the

T.V. Time

2007-04-12T13:37:00.000-05:00

Oh it's that time again! Another week of television has passed, and faithful t.v. consumer, Ry, is here to document the ups and downs.America's Next Top ModelRene is nice again for some unknown reason. The models stopped acting like Bitches, and they are starting to get along. Doesn't Tyra know this makes for BORING television? The photo shoot had former contestants on Top Model pose with the

Katie Couric is a stealing, thieving, lying liar

2007-04-12T09:38:00.000-05:00

[her pants are totally on fire]So Katie Couric got caught red handed being the sneaky plagiarist she is. She did this video essay on Libraries and stuff, but the piece was almost word for word stolen from the Wall Street Journal.Apparently the producer who "stole" was fired, but never named. Either way she looks bad cause if she did it, not the producer, she is a filthy dirty liar.If she didn't

Someone's bank account got heavy...

2007-04-11T15:12:00.000-05:00

So North Carolina dropped the charges against the three white Duke athletes for sexually assaulting a black stripper saying that the DA was overzealous and wrong.Puh-fucking-lease, they did it, and since they were rich white sporties they got away with it. Everyone knows that athletes get away with rape. It is written in the constitution. Unless they are black and its a white girl, then there

Player Haters Have Their Day In Court

2007-04-11T10:37:00.000-05:00

Some douche sued an online site (DontDateHimGirl.com) for "untrue" comments about him cheating, having the clap, being a big ol mo, and not paying child support (some sound a bit contradictory...) but the judge told him that he had no jurisdiction.Dude this site is awesome shit. Its just a bunch of bitches on the rag crabbing about their ex boyfriends. The lady who started the site is looking at

I just wanted to look fabulous on my wedding day!

2007-04-11T10:19:00.000-05:00

Some person stole a ton of wedding gowns and headed for Mexico when caught by border patrol. Apparently the dresses were donated to a cancer charity, and the person grabbed em and ran for the border.This person OBVIOUSLY wanted a vast selection so he/she could look their best on their wedding day. Either that or they were planning on some secret get Americans drunk and make them marry our womens

2007-04-10T15:43:00.000-05:00

Oh Wal-Mart. You do know how to throw a party don't you? Well not really, apparently you just spy the ass off your employees.If you've missed this gem of a story, read all about it. Wal-Mart just won a gag order against a former employee who was sharing his wares with the Wall Street Journal. Wal-Mart's security measures, which include surveillance on their employees, vendors and consultants was

Get Em My Pretties!

2007-04-10T15:24:00.000-05:00

South Korea is down with the wolf cloning lately. The best part is the sciencetist involved is wanted for embezllement, fraud and a whole bunch of other hoopla.Why isn't the US doing this? We're letting other countries clone packs of War Wolves? Why else would they be cloning carnivores? Snuggle time?Secret South Korea MeetingGovernment Official: Those silly Americans! They'll never expect us to

Whose Yo Daddy?

2007-04-10T15:10:00.000-05:00

Little ANS Jr., Dannielynn will no longer have to stay up at night wondering who spawned her. No, genetic tests have proven Larry Birkhead is the daddy!Of course, we all knew this was coming. I'm glad the ANS circus is coming to a close... or so I think. Just wait for the midgets. You just know there has to be a midget involved somehow.

Are You Ready For That Ass?

2007-04-10T14:59:00.000-05:00

Yes, the ass that can be seen across many a country will be on American Idol tonight. None other than J. Lo will be mentoring those little Idol rascals on how to sing Latin themed music.This is going to rock my face off!Not only that but we get the slight chance to see classic Paula (a.k.a. drunk off her ass Paula). Why? Because homegirl is probably jealous as hell of J. Lo's limited yet

Psychic hotline?

2007-04-09T16:48:00.000-05:00

[incoming call... from hell!!]A British man dreamed up a phone number, text messaged it "Did I meet you last night?" and the girl responded, then suddenly they started talking, then dating, and are now married.So this guy had some kind of demonic premonition or something? Lucky for the girl the dude wasn't some kind of freako rapist. You know guys are gonna start randomly text messaging bitches

Worst drag show ever!

2007-04-06T09:14:00.000-05:00

Leave it to a firefighter to don the most tragic drag, ever, AND get arrested for drunk driving, public indecency, and drunken disorderly conduct.He said he was on his way to win $10,000 for an impersonator contest. Honestly, I don't think he could win lookin like that if it was a crack ho contest (he'd get 3rd prize no doubt).Dude, seriously, ever heard of a onesy? And, by the way, if you eat a

Discovery Channel hates cute babies

2007-04-05T14:31:00.000-05:00

[Polar Bears are amazingly awesome]Planet Earth is the most depressing ass show ever. I mean it is fucking cool and all and looks more like CGI shit from movies (esp. on the giant HD tv on Discovery HD) than real life (which it is, I promise).My beef with it, though, is the fact that EVERY GOD DAMN EPISODE features:A baby dying from the weatherA baby getting horribly eaten/murdered by a predatorA

TV Time

2007-04-05T11:34:00.000-05:00

I missed last week because... well... I'm a lazy fucker. But it's back!America's Next Top ModelBORING. This usual bitchfest ala mode was CryFest 2007. The girls had a challenge to mingle at a party with a bunch of celebrities. And by celebrities I mean Nicole Richie, Paris Hilton and 50 Cent. Otherwise known as any fucking club in Los Angeles. Nicole was up to her fun tricks, playing drama with

But What About Her Farts?

2007-04-05T11:30:00.000-05:00

[she totally just sharted]The Queen of England has decided to go green. Well kind of, her Royal Estates are being audited for ways to cut down on carbon emissions. She is happening to leave out her private estates.You can read all the sordid details here.Is it just me or does it seem like the audit should extend to the Queen's person as well? I mean, we regularly blame cows for damage to the

Crack Attack!

2007-04-05T11:23:00.000-05:00

Whitney Houston won a hearing versus her ex-husband, Bobby Brown, recently to win custody of her daughter.Poor girl. I hope she likes crack in her Wheaties...I can see it now (cue dream sequence)Whitney: Did you eat yo breakfast?Whitney Baby Daughter: Uhuhs. I ate frosted flakes with extra sugar!Whitney: looking around Extra sugar? We don't have any sugar! ... ...wait... where's my crack!Whitney

Are you sexier than a 5th grader??

2007-04-05T10:36:00.000-05:00

[Look at that saucy minx give Foxworthy the 'googly eye']According to CNN, 5 Fifth Graders were arrested for lewd acts such as having sex in an unattended classroom.The students were arrested Tuesday at the Spearsville school in rural north Louisiana, authorities said. Two 11-year-old girls, a 12-year-old boy and a 13-year old boy were charged with obscenity, a felony. An 11-year-old boy, the

The Glass Closet

2007-04-04T19:08:00.000-05:00

Out Magazine released their Powerful Gay List in an upcoming issues. Celebrities like Anderson Cooper, Jodie Foster and... Perez Hilton were all featured. Perez Hilton? WTF? Sure he brow beats a few celebs to come out, but in the top 20? I've lost all respect for Out Magazine. See the article here.And no, Jakey isn't confirmed homo (yet), but one can imagine his glass closet is built for two.

KYLE XY IS BACK!

2007-04-04T17:07:00.000-05:00

Oh joy of joys! My favorite summer time show is coming back to the ABC Family channel. What is this glorious gem of television satisfaction? Why Kyle XY of course.ABC just released news that 13 all new episodes will start on June 11. Everyone set your Tivos. This shit is such a train wreck, it's awesome! It's so bad it's good. And when I say bad, I mean He-Man cartoon animation bad. But that

Anchor babies unite!

2007-04-04T15:16:00.000-05:00

The Texas leg (le-djuh), short for legislator to all of us hipsters, has introduced HB 28, which states that illegals comin in to Texas and havin their babies will still not get benefits and it challenges whether the children are even citizens, since the 14 Amendment states anyone born on US grounds is a citizen.The problem is that Mexicans come over the border and have their babies just so they

Kermit is Back!

2007-04-03T23:04:00.000-05:00

This shit is genius! I especially like the part where Kermit takes a puke. It sounds gross, but it's mesmerizing. Kind of like Lakisha's boobies on American Idol.

Knut is my hero...

2007-04-03T10:28:00.000-05:00

So this polar bear cub's momma didn't want him (bitch!) so these animal rights cunts wanted to put him down. Now I am not ok with that shit, cause he is so fucking cute putting him down would be a travesty.

Don't lie to the magical robot!

2007-04-02T17:19:00.000-05:00

Norway has just introduced an automatic robotic customs agent that you can claim your cigarettes and wine bottle to, and it will print out a receipt.So what is going to stop a bitch from lying to this thing? Is it a magical all knowing robot, because it can't really save any time if you have to check out everyone who is a liar.My guess? The people "randomly" selected by the machine for "advanced

House of Pain

2007-04-02T17:11:00.000-05:00

The Air Force just tested its 'pain gun' on an AP reporter. The gun is to be used for crowd control in a non lethal capacity.This dude looked like he was about to miss the sing along to Sound of Music. Seriously dude, butch it up a little.I say bring on the pain. We should lace our border with this shit so when people tried to cross they would feel the burning sensation and realize that America

The Fug Wars

2007-04-02T15:50:00.000-05:00

Alanis Morrissette has decided to cover "My Humps" and consistently make fun of Fergie throughout the entire video. This shit is geniusly funny, and kind of hot. Alanis wins cause hearing this terrible song in a slow screeching Alanissy song just shows how assenine it was in the first place.

Bush vs. Mencia

2007-03-29T17:15:00.001-05:00

George Bush was actually quite funny at the White House Correspondents Dinner. He made fun of himself, Pelosi, Cheney, and Obama.My personal favorite is when he says his memoirs would be a pop up book. That shit would be fucking amazing, as long as cash popped out of it. And cocaine.PS. George, don't be jealous of Obama's nice shiny pecs, just cause he's gettin some, doesn't mean he's free game.

Rovey Rove... The whitest man I know...

2007-03-29T17:09:00.001-05:00

Since Stephen Colbert will most likely never be invited again, the two douches nobody knows from Who's Line... tried their best at humor (to the effect of Sanjaya trying to sing) by getting Karl Rove to rap at the White House Correspondents Dinner.This shit is a bit painful, but seeing how white Rove is makes it funny. In that me chinese, me play joke kinda way, not the holy shit that snake just

Bye Bye Birdie, See You In Hell...

2007-03-28T17:36:00.000-05:00

Bush's peeps have proposed some "changes" the endangered species list, ie: making the endangered species law so inept that many species could be going to never never land via extinction.Apparently some poor bird swooped by and pooed in Georgie's wheaties, so he is making sure that their entire species is destroyed.His hunter friends are happy, though. Everyone knows that an animal's dead carcas

No wonder there's so much dog shit on the streets...

2007-03-28T16:56:00.000-05:00

San Francisco is on the verge of banning plastic bags because it is harmful to the environment.Well no wonder there is so much dog poo everywhere, they don't have any plastic bags to pick it up (that and all those queens don't want their hands smelling like poo BEFORE sex).

Harry Potter Cover Revealed!

2007-03-28T12:44:00.000-05:00

Okay, I have to calm down. I nearly wet myself. For those of you who LOVE you some Harry Potter - click here to see the new cover.It doesn't really give away any elements of the story, but who cares! It's a slow news day.BTW, comingsoon.net rocks my face off.

Sanjaya is My Nemesis

2007-03-28T12:34:00.000-05:00

Sanjaya better go home tonight, or I may just explode. Spontaneous combustion all over my lovely apartment.To add insult to injury, the news talk about his "online support" - votefortheworst.com like it's a good thing. I think they're missing the key factor in all of this - "votefortheWORST".I'm reminded of a little movie called American Dreamz. The terrorist rig it so he can make it to the final

Guns, Guns and More Guns!

2007-03-28T12:31:00.000-05:00

Rick Perry has done it again. The Governor of Texas, in a pissing contest to be the next real Terminator has decided Texans needs more rights to shoot people in the head. Here is the scoop on a new law that will grant Texans immmunity if they shoot someone even trying to think about murder.I can see it now. All the rich oil wives will have a heapful of dead husbands. "I saw the murder in his eyes

Battling the Update

2007-03-28T12:24:00.000-05:00

I have been fighting a severe case of the Lazies lately. As in, my lazy ass doesn't like to get out of bed. But fear not loyal newslineders, you'll get your cup of hatorade today!But in the meantime, feast your eyes on this lovely and hilarious commercial. It makes the birds sing and my tummy ache with laughter.

The Week in Review (TV)

2007-03-23T16:19:00.000-05:00

American IdolMost of them had a good night. Stephanie put me to sleep (which is partially why her ass got voted off), but really Sanjaya deserved to get his ass kicked to the curb. My hate for Sanjaya grows every day. I know that little girl was crying a river because his freaky ass hair scared her, not to mention his over-abundance of the disease known as Gay Face.I was also shocked that Chris R

First class ticket to hell

2007-03-20T12:30:00.000-05:00

So this woman up and dies on a flight so she gets upgraded to First Class. What a cheap bitch, can't buy her 3,000$ ticket fair and square? She gets the freebie just cause she died? Well I can fake dead, does that count?Anyways, they put her body next to some dude who was sleeping. You know if I paid that much money for a plane ticket, I sure as hell would not want to wake up next to a dead

Keanu 1, Papparazzi 0

2007-03-20T11:51:00.000-05:00

Keanu has started a war! Oscar-w..., Emmy..., I mean Rasberry winning actor, Keanu Reeves hit a papparazzi with his car. Check it out!I love how the PR spin machine is calling it a "graze". This supposed graze knocked the papparazzi down and sent him to the hospital. You know Keanu was rearing for the bitch! Eat Porsche douche bag! No wait, that's what I'd say. Keanu just said "Dude!"Oh and I

Do Jews like Titties?

2007-03-20T11:44:00.000-05:00

Hooters is headed for Israel! Here is the scoop.The new Hooters will be in Tel Aviv, a city long known for its partying and free style sexing. (Just read the new Details article if you don't believe me!) Oh and it won't be kosher. I can just see all those middle-aged Israel citizens choking down those non-kosher chicken wings and washing it down with some guilt-ridden beer.

They Found Another One!

2007-03-20T11:36:00.000-05:00

Future sodomite, errr... I mean Boy Scout, Michael Auberry, was found in the woods near his campsite. Read all about it here.The young chap decided to stay back at camp to "sleep in". Me thinks he needed to get his rocks off in private and got lost. The article goes on to speculate how the boy survived with his crazy wiles and ingenuity. Shit. The boy had a mess kit and a thing of pringles. Which

Bong hits 4 Jesus!

2007-03-19T15:03:00.001-05:00

A student was suspended for displaying a banner that read, "Bong Hits 4 Jesus", and now the Supreme Court is hearing the case. You can read all about it here.The court is having a hard time deciding whether they want to let students keep their rights, or whether censoring free speech should be allowed.The thing is, the politics of the administration will rule out if these kids' rights of free

Showtime Raids the Panty Drawer

2007-03-16T15:57:00.000-05:00

Showtime is snapping up all the talent left in Hollywood. And by talent, I mean actors who haven't had significant work since the 1990s.They have David Duchovony lined up to star in a new series about a novelist who battles problems with addiction. You can read about the stellar cast here.On the brighter side, Showtime has also snagged Steven Spielberg's idea for a comedy about a mother with

Speaking of Inner Gay

2007-03-16T15:47:00.000-05:00

Richard Hatch says prison was horrible you can read about it here.Survivor winner Richard hatch just got out of prison and wants everyone to know that it sucks the big one.What's wrong Hatchy? All the other inmates see Another Gay Movie? And Prisoners are big ol size queens, so they probably wouldn't give you any!

My Favorite Bitch Knows How to Blow

2007-03-16T15:40:00.000-05:00

For those of you who have killed the inner child within yourselves by working as a cubicle monkey for the man, need to check this out. It might even bring out your inner gay. And bitch can blow rainbows out of balls! Now that is skill.

2007-03-16T13:20:00.000-05:00

Newslined is Coming BackThat's right Bitches. Newslined is making a come back. A new design, new material and new douches to make fun of.Hold on to your asses, cause Newslined is taking you for a ride!

2007-01-11T15:41:00.000-06:00

And the winners of 06 are...·36 incidences of spousal abuse· 7 arrests for fraud· 19 accusations of writing bad checks· 117 found guilty of indirectly or directly bankrupting at least two businesses· 3 convictions for assault· 71 unable to get a credit card because of bad credit·

2007-01-03T14:54:00.000-06:00

My new blog. Blood & Sweat. It is dedicated to comics. Check it out if you like, still a work in progress.Happy new year everyone!

2006-12-18T17:06:00.000-06:00

But nothing's going to change...CLICK FOR LARGER ACTUAL PICTURE!"But nothing's going to change..."Take what you will from this, but I will say that everyone knows my feelings on the immigration issue (and if you don't then you should)

2006-12-12T16:23:00.000-06:00

Now I found a real love, you'll never fool me again...CLICK FOR LARGER ACTUAL PICTURE!"Now I found a real love, you'll never fool me again..."Great day today, I am finally happy and loving life. Christmas is on the way and I can't wait any longer!!

2006-11-29T16:09:00.000-06:00

All the lights went out tonight...CLICK FOR LARGER ACTUAL PICTURE!"All the lights went out tonight..."Some more. Today sucked. Tomorrow will hopefully be better.

2006-11-28T17:51:00.000-06:00

I will be there with you when you turn out the light...CLICK FOR LARGER ACTUAL PICTURE!"I will be there with you when you turn out the light..."More art by me. Cheers.

2006-11-21T11:02:00.000-06:00

Goodbye to Comics: Memoirs of an Occasional SuperheroinePerusing the internet, I found the memoirs of a former comics industry female who has quite the chip on her shoulder.Honestly, this is the most fucked up, completely fascinating stuff I have read in quite some time. I implore everyone to check this woman's tale, starting at the bottom (the beginning).[if you have yet to learn how newslined

2006-11-15T11:52:00.000-06:00

Unnecessary Censorship...Just for Old Knudsen I have youtubed a post. Take that curmudgeons of the world!PS. This shit is funny.

2006-11-14T15:01:00.000-06:00

Spiderman 3 Trailer WITH Venom...Spiderman 3 trailer that was accidentally leaked, it is unfinished but the only part that really matters is the end where it fucking shows Venom!!!

2006-11-10T12:54:00.000-06:00

My tarots...My tarot cards... these are the two that kept coming up, so I thought I would post both, although Sun came first, so it has more merit.You are The SunHappiness, Content, Joy.The meanings for the Sun are fairly simple and consistent.Young, healthy, new, fresh. The brain is working, things that were muddled come clear, everything falls into place, and everything seems to go your way.The

2006-11-10T11:21:00.000-06:00

Spiderman 3 New Trailer...Holy shit this is gonna rock so hard every fan boy in America will need a white hand towel to clean up their gizz from spewing all over each other... (of course some of them will just use their... ok ew can't go there, ew ew ew...)

2006-11-08T15:50:00.000-06:00

America gives a big 'FUCK YOU' to Republicans, BushSo America has finally wised up and spoken, giving the middle finger to the religous right, George W. Bush, and rednecks across America by saying "we're taking our country back from you little boy touching, media censoring, war starting bigots and hypocrites!"The Democrats have taken the House, and with the help of Independents (hopefully) the

2006-11-07T13:29:00.000-06:00

Election Day: You better have voted bitches!It is election day. Oh how I am dreading the outcome tonight, especially here in Texas since I really don't think this state can afford 4 more years of good hair and bad administration from Rick Perry. I would much rather bad hair and great leadership from the likes of Chris Bell (have you never heard of grecian formula??)Honestly, fuck you Kinky

2006-10-30T12:08:00.000-06:00

Valerie's letter...This is a letter from Valerie in Alan Moore's V for Vendetta, it is probably one of the most powerful testaments to integrity I have ever read or seen. I have included the original piece from the graphic novel, as well as the video from the film.I don't know who you are. Please believe. There is no way I can convince you that this is not one of their tricks. But I don't care. I

2006-10-20T15:01:00.000-05:00

Killface has spoken! Killface is right! You can add him to the top 5 heroes of all time, next to Master Shake and Bender.

2006-10-18T12:37:00.000-05:00

Congressman's hubby denied benefits...Former Congressman Gerry Studds (the first openly gay Congressman ever) passed away recently, but his hubby is being denied pension benefits due to the Defense of Marriage Act passed/signed by Bill Clinton in the mid 90s, although they were LEGALLY married in Massachusetts.The fucked up part? The only people denied pension benefits in the government are those

2006-10-18T12:17:00.000-05:00

Guess there won't be a Blade 4...Wesley Snipes is in deep shit with the IRS for escaping tax money he owes to the government, but when they wanted to arrest his ass, he was nowhere to be found.Dude the guy has done how many government conspiracy movies? Of course he ran! Not to mention the fact that Hollywood don't really give a shit if you are wanted for arrest in America, just move out of the

2006-10-18T12:09:00.000-05:00

Democrats could take over if they'd stop getting bad hair cuts...The Democrats should be winning most of the mid term elections, giving them the proper majority over the Senate and House, thus diminishing a lot of Bush's power, and hopefully save America from a tyrannical right wing agenda by the fresh Republican faces.A lot of this is due to the public finally realizing Iraq is a bad deal, and

2006-10-16T15:45:00.000-05:00

My own best friend...CLICK FOR LARGER ACTUAL PICTURE!"I'll Be My Own Best Friend..."More art by me.(Pictures are actually bigger and not as scaled down, but where I am storing them they are, so if youd like to see the original/best, email me)

2006-10-11T12:19:00.000-05:00

I Wish...CLICK FOR LARGER ACTUAL PICTURE!"I Wish..."More art by me. GOT A NEW STORAGE SO SHOULD BE BETTER QUALITY(Pictures are actually bigger and not as scaled down, but where I am storing them they are, so if youd like to see the original/best, email me)

2006-10-06T15:10:00.000-05:00

My favorite artist...CLICK FOR LARGER ACTUAL PICTURE!"JR,NJ"I have started doing some artwork again. This is my first piece drawn by hand [well on the computer], so enjoy.It's been years since I actually made original art, so I am very proud of it [in other words quit knocking it asshole!]Hopefully I will be inspired to do more.

2006-10-05T17:21:00.000-05:00

Republican seeking life mate: Likes walks on the beach, serving in Congress, touching boy butt...Everyone has probably heard the story of Florida Congressman Mark Foley and his instant message conversations with Congressional Pages asking them about beating off and their dick size.The dude has some kind of fantasy for political high schoolers for some reason, and resigned cause he's a big ol mo

2006-10-05T09:41:00.000-05:00

Drunk Bear!It's a drunk bear... genius!

2006-09-29T17:14:00.000-05:00

Robot Chicken Friday!This is by far the funniest shit I have ever seen. I was laughing so hard at work I had to leave my desk, MO-LAR the He-man dentist. "All he got was the dental floss, and I got a fucking drill to the eye!"When Godzilla and wife's sexual relationship goes awry, Mecha Godzilla will come in to Tame Dat Ass!!The Never Ending Story crew have a wild and crazy American party!My

2006-09-28T09:29:00.000-05:00

Do you need help little man?I don't know what it is about really gay guys getting scared, but this shit is funny as hell."Bryant" goes to a facility to rescue animals, but finds out there might be some kind of rat monster lurking around waiting for his next kill.

2006-09-21T10:56:00.000-05:00

"Bush is the devil"...The Venezualan president said that Mr. Bush was the devil and that there will be an uprising across the world against American imperialism.Ummm... wow. I mean, wow. Them's some fightin words, especially when done at the UN in front of all those peoples.But you know we rely on them for oil, so we have to just sit there and take it. I bet ol Georgie is none too please about

2006-09-20T14:37:00.000-05:00

Civil War! Trailer for Civil War, with issue #4 coming out today, anyone who is not reading this, but wouldn't mind checking out comics, should definitely check out Civil War. This shit just gets better and better and leaves me wanting more, damnit!

2006-09-20T12:19:00.000-05:00

Matt Damon flips his weave...I am pretty sure this is a joke (much like the snake bite that seemed so real it was almost scary), but it's still fucking funny shit.

2006-09-20T11:43:00.000-05:00

Ridin dirt... I mean white and nerdy...Weird Al has done it again, if you ever say, (in your whitest voice you can muster) "why are you hating on me?" and "why don't they call it driving illegally?" then this video is just for you!

2006-09-19T08:43:00.000-05:00

Rest in Peace AnnFormer Texas governor Ann Richards will be missed. I had the pleasure of meeting and talking with her 2 years ago, and she was a wonderful person to be around. My heart goes out to her family and all the Texans who knew her as one of the greatest people Texas has ever blessed the world with.

2006-09-19T08:38:00.000-05:00

Shocker! Willie Nelson caught with... weed...Ummm.... no shit! It's fucking Willie Nelson! Of course he had pot and shrooms on his tour bus, he has his own fucking strand of marijuana named after him!But you know he just got off with a misdemeanor cause there were 5 people on the bus and separated among them it wasn't enough to get him jail time.He ain't stupid, he's just high!

2006-09-19T08:34:00.000-05:00

10% of 'straight' guys are really dick lickers!According to a new study in NYC, 10% of men who identified as straight have partaken in some man on man action within last year or so, 70% of them were married.Wow, what a shock, a bunch of married guys really enjoy the cock. The biggest problem here is that they, unlike the gays, typically practice unsafe sex, cause diseases to spread. Leave it to

2006-09-13T13:46:00.000-05:00

What a fag!Dude this Weather man like totally pops his weave after a cockroach viciously attacks his black ass. No joke. Fucking roaches are out to get you, beware.

2006-09-05T14:59:00.000-05:00

Heroes on iTunes!One of the shows I am most waiting for this season is NBC's Heroes. I want to see it really fucking bad, and it doesn't start til Sept 24 or so, but it is on iTunes. The catch is you have to have some card from a movie theater with a code on it, and since I am a lazy ass I have yet to receive said code.Ok, here's where you come in. If you have one of said cards with said code,

2006-08-24T12:16:00.000-05:00

Pluto is a bitch and we don't like his ass no mo!Astrologers and scientists voted to removed Pluto's planet status, thus making our solar system only 8 planets.All those text books are gonna have to be changed stat, but knowing our education system they will continue to teach false information.There are all these unidentified objects over there near the planet, so who knows what else we have to